It's funny how sometimes we think that things that happen in movies stays in movies, and how imaginative the mind of the story tellers will only be in the fantasy of their making. But alas, it is closer to reality than it is.

It is a fact that I'm no longer feeling the 'love' when it comes to my mother-and-son relationship with none other, and where does it all begin?

For starters - having to grow up half of my childhood under the parenting guardian of a babysitter instead of my own mother. It has been said that if a child that was raised by a babysitter, they would be more attached or clinging to that surrogate parent, rather than their own. This reminds me much like the 2007 movie The Nanny Diaries where Scarlett Johansson is the dubious nanny who had to babysit a boy from a wealthy family. Of course, if you had watch the movie you would have known that Grayer (the little boy from the movie) was having a totally crappy time because of the attention and affection that he craves, but from who? His parents of course. The father is tired of the relationship and is having an affair with flunkies in the office, the mother is so obsessed with her welfare and reputation she could not care less about her child. A childhood torn asunder by his own parents, a cruel fate to bestow upon the child.

But unlike the movie where a happy ending was ensued when all conflict has resolved, reality bites harder - for me. 'Why am I not close?', 'Why is he rejecting my shower of affection?', 'Why is he so distant when it comes to an understanding?'. My mom would most constantly ask herself these questions but for a fact, the answer already lies in her hands, yet she is being oblivious to it.

Perhaps she was feeling guilty for not being able to be there for me during the times when I needed a lecture on how to be a good person, or the times when I am still at the age in which she is subconsciously seeing me as even till today or it could just plainly be that she is too high strong for the wrong reasons and in a simpler description, ignorantly stubborn.

I am seriously, no, make that we - my sister and I are seriously disappointed at how much our mother had been making mistakes in which she make and had bound to repeat them time and time again. Why are we so distant, you ask? Well, for starters, since now you are only left with both your offsprings, should you not be closer to us? Should you not be sharing with us on things that in any logical minded person would think would be wise to include if need be? Perhaps, that's why there's no 'we' in 'family', because you are more tied to your bloodline, instead of the world you had created.

Tell yourself - if you want us to love you, more than just being filial piety, then start becoming a real part of the family.