Another rant about Vista's flaw. This may be one of the most annoying feature implemented that not only I myself experience its wrath, but also countless many others (let's look at a particular victim).

In the following links, the victim suffers the same problem as I have, and placed the very same query over multiple sites hoping for an answer, which only reaps no proper solution, as I have tried them all and none works.

http://www.vistax64.com/vista-account-administration/6841-automatic-log-out-lock.html

http://www.windowsvistabuzz.com/forums/thread/9646.aspx

http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/forums/topic56058.html

See, it's so messed up that a person needs to post in various sources just to get a solution to the problem which does NOT YET have a definite fix to it.

Kudos Vista, you're such a retarded OS.

It has been a week since episode 1 came out, here are more short forms for you to get accustom with :P (some are US, some aren't):

• 1337 / leet / l33t
  Elite (best of the best; cool)


• FFS
  For F***'s Sake


• MIA
  Missing in action


• NBTD
  Nothing better to do


• TTYL
  Talk to you later


• WTB / WTS / WTT
  Want to buy / Want to sell / Want to trade (Widely used in online gaming transactions)

After playing Water Margin Online for awhile, here's a few I've learned from the game (implies to the game solely):

• BDH
  Black Dragon Helmet


• GBH
  Golden Boar Helmet


• GDH
  Golden Dragon Helmet


• RDH
  Red Dragon Helmet


• UT
  Utmost

These, however are some miscellaneous words that isn't a short form, neither is it an abbreviation but oftenly used by most IM specialists:

• Rawr
  An expression of strength, intelligence after being complimented


• W00t / Woot
  An expression of happiness (in games / chats)

So, Filefront has earned themselves a nick for being one of the best file hosting sites ever, but now, it just got crapped up.

There I was trying to download some o2jam mp3s from Filefront to add to my music collection, and guess what happens? It kept showing me errors and won't allow me to download the file(s).

I, of course was using Firefox to access the site. So I guess I'll just try with IE, and it does work, but with minor complications such as pop-up blocking when the download is about to start, slow response time (Maybe this is IE, but meh).

Filefront is gonna be one of my least dependable sites to download for files now seeing it's no longer fully compatible with Firefox. Good riddance to bad trash.

Ever wonder why sometimes, when you look at how humans can become such vagrant beings? it all comes down to one thing - power.

Everyone will almost always have the crave for power, or even more of it.

Why power? A very simple explanation would be because of having the capability to place judgment or a sense of overwhelming control over someone or something else.

Whatever prejudice we humans might have on others may be due to discontent, or something foreboding that makes us want to defeat it. Without power, how else would you sought to do so? If you're going to say knowledge is a better alternative, I'm way ahead of you - knowledge IS power.

The reason we want more power is because we actually understand how having this power can influence us, and towards anyone else whom might or will be in contact with us. We feel strong when we have some sort of authority or strength, but does it really make us, stronger? Does it actually makes us better? Why yes, it does.

If you are willing to strip away all morale and focus on the true power of power itself, then you have to rid yourself of emotions. Power is neither good nor evil, it is just a neutral state of self acknowledgement.

No matter how we see it, having power is no longer in an infant stage of corruption, but it is a matter of how much corruption that will be taken account when the damage has been done.

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely

- This is a post dedicated to all you hungry for more power egoist out there

Ahh, Malaysia. What more can I say about your idiocy?

Well for starters, when it comes to technology, Malaysia SUCKS to the infinite max.

Okay, don't mean to sound racist here but it's just the plain truth, bite me. I use to think that TMNUT who was owned by a bunch of pansies whom we all love to hate was retarded with their unsatisfactory, congested, insufficient excuse for a ISP, what makes this worst is a stupid MMOG called Water Margin Online (Shui Hu if pronounced in Mandarin), when they started to go all bishy with their rollbacks and lags. I mean, you're a fucking official MMOG that uses item mall, what the fuck is with the sucky in-game experience?

I am not sure as to where the actual Water Margin Online game concept came from, but it was sure wrong to have given Malaysia the opportunity to be one of the host servers. Oh crap them, I'm sure this game is under some chinese idiot who made this game so unpopular.

The reasons why Water Margin Online (Malaysia) sucks due to:

1. Their forums have difficult registration method, and it is in chinese characters

Although I may be racist, but there's one thing that makes me overlook that matter - games. When it comes to gaming, there's no scrutiny, of course that only applies to me. I mean, come on, I myself is a chinese and I find it hard to navigate in their forum without having someone to translate. The registration, however I have tried to do still failed to access the freakin' forum. What a buncha idiots.


2. The game lack of concepts which pretty much just makes you either pay for the great shit and continue lvling or die like the rest

In short, EVERY players who's at least a class 2 and above job has had at least spent their money to get to where they are. It sickens me that we have to pay so much just to be strong, kinda reminds me of those stupid private RO servers with donation. I seriously hated those kinda concepts.

3. 100000000ms??? Whoa, let's just play WoW

That was just a rough estimation of the packet-sending speed between my computer (Malaysia) to the server (Malaysia). Cool, an interesting discovery - in packet-switching, the closer you are, the longer the routing takes place (sarcasm!). I mean, constant rolllbacks, game freezes, which could particularly result in gaming discrepencies or lost of your hard work. Retarded.

4. So what? I TAI-KOR MAH!

Again, ah-bengs. I seriously am pissed that most kids (chinese) are so typical ah-beng, and yet they have access to the gaming world, the advanced one nonetheless. I mean, they are already retarded as it is, do they really have to show it even more? Their typical behaviour is, if they don't diss you, they'll try to make it so they'll diss you and pisses you off till the extent where you wish you could rip their heads off. Tai-kor? So? You peeps just gotta learn to change man, being an ah beng is a total disgrace to our kind, so if you want to act big, do it in your own little world you fags.

5. Oh wait, so, this is why Malaysia is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off the charts in gaming technology?

Yes, and furthermore, I can see Malaysia being stagnant in more ways than one in the era of advancement of technology thanks to people like MyCNX (distributor of Water Margin Online Malaysia) and TMNUT, just to mention a few.


In short, if you (yes, YOU) are a Malaysian, I'd suggest you to leave, cause I would once I have all I need, then I can pack my bags and leave this imbecilic country.

I will be placing a random poll in my blog, just cause I have nothing better to do ^_^.

I will be updating it every week, so the poll is going to last for about 6 to 7 days, have fun xD

Okay, I'm bored again.

Have you ever wonder why people tend to say "Luul", or "Roff"? We, in the general public tend to use a lot of short forms and abbreviations, but what do they mean? What does it stand for? How did it get about to becoming such a hit with us? Most of these were born during the era of online chatting, while others have been adopted from our daily lives.

Here's a list of common and well known short forms or abbreviations, or compu-speak as I like to call it (these are based on English-US):

Abbreviations

• AFAIK
  As far as I know


• ASAP
  As soon as possible


• ATM
  At the moment


• BBL
  Be back later


• BBS
  Be back soon


• BRB
  Be right back


• BRT
  Be right there


• FYI
  For your information


• GG
  Good game


• GTFO
  Get the f*ck off


• IMO / IMHO
  In my opinion / In my honest opinion


• LOL
  Laughing out loud


• OMG / OMFG
  Oh my God / Oh my f*cking God


• ROFL
  Rolling on (the) floor laughing


• TTFN
  Tata for now


• WTH
  What the hell


• WTF
  What the f*ck


• WYSIWYG
  What you see is what you get

Short forms

• Aite / Alrite
  Right / Alright


• Thx
  Thanks

Not seeing the short forms here? More to come in episode 2 :)

Okay, I thought for 2 or 3 days, fine, I'll let it go but now, it's way too serious.

The international lines have been so fucked up it took me almost 1 minute to just load BLOGGER. I mean, WTF?

STREAMYX, YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCHA BITCHES DAT SHOULD BE ANAL-YZED AND BE PUT TO THE DEATH ROW FOR SUCKING OUR MONEY.

My pages aren't loading completely, links are missing and images are broken or half-loaded. OMFG, this time, it is not the downloading speed (it's slow as fucking hell as usual), the browsing speed just drops to a definite SLOW ASS SPEED.

I hope this message gets sent through to all readers who wish to stay in Malaysia. TMNET STREAMYX IS A FUCKED UP SERVICE THAT YOU SHOULD NOT APPLY! If you can get by without internet while you're at Malaysia, then PLEASE stop attending to this stupid shit ass service. STREAMYX IS A DISGRACE TO THE WORLD OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY + INTERNET TECHNOLOGY.

To all those big Heroes fan out there, it is already mid of the season, aired on NBC (US). Go download those episodes people!

Here are some spoilers that may or may not put you back on the track to watching Heroes again (HIGHLIGHT AT OWN RISK ;)):

1. Sylar NEVER died. He was just severely injured (pfft, like an immortal). He was placed back among the cast after the second episode in the second season. Under Kandice's aid, he was treated and he slowly got back to his killing spree by killing her first.

2. Nathan was miraculously unharmed by the explosion. He no longer is a congressman and have eluded most conflicts he had had with the issues of the freaks.

3. Peter survived the explosion incident as well, however, suffers a memory lost and ended up at a desolated area of Ireland. He was found by some people who took him to a nearby tavern.

4. DL died, leaving Micah and Nikki on their journey to find peace. Nikki thinks her powers would cause another unwanted tragedy in their lives, hence finds the Company to get cure her of power.

5. There will be 2 (or even 3) more new Heroes added into the cast. One of them has the ability to mimic acrobatic moves and the other has the ability to poison an enemy which results in the bleeding of black liquid (from what I've read, it says oil) and dies from it.

p.s. Have fun waiting days for an episode :(

Nah, not a big mojo.

I just realised that winter does not only apply to the northern or southern hemisphere, where continents or places not within the equator will be overcome by a season of falling frosted rain.

It has been raining rather often here, and what better way to associate this phenomena by implying the harsh (but considered enjoyable at times) winter as a backdrop of similarity in what may seem to be another global climate influx.

Now, I stay here with the suffering, the breath slowly runs from me (so freakin' cold, oh-kei!)

Nah, not saying it is a bad thing, just wish it would stop raining, stop the shivering!

Okay, so the agency that liked my writing had gone through the manuscript and they thought of it as a potential next best seller xD, so what is standing between my chance of actually publishing my work? The editor and the critique.

One of their questions they had for me was wether my story had gone through any formal editing, and I said no. Sadly, due to this fact, I need to hire a proffesional literary editor to critique my work before the idea gets published. How much does it cost? The one that gets provided by the agency cost roughly about 70 to 90 bucks (and that ain't Ringgit!).

Well ... sadly, there goes my ambition as a writer. I have failed you Shakespeare! Adios amigos! My idea of actually publishing my beloved story comes crumbling before me.

The next best thing is to find a local editor that is willing to help me out by doing a critique on my work. Not to be picky or anything, they needed a proffesional critique with credentials, as they will be used for references and will be 'harrassed' from time to time to see if the critique is genuinely credented or if they actually did a critique for my work.

Maybe, this will be my Christmas wish this year *crosses fingers*

I have always been wondering why I liked O2Jam so much, well I finally got my answer.

As most may already know, the reason I play O2Jam is cause of stress and tension relief, but why do I listen to those songs rather than ordinary, humans' voiced music? The very very sad reason for this is due to me getting fed up with listening to the humans' voice itself.

I'm tired of having to listen to everyone talk about their lives, tired of not being able to say anything despite having something to say, tired of the idiotic debates and complains of humans, tired of the nags and whines of people - Just freakin' tired of it.

Everytime when human speaks, it's all about "How I should have been better" or "I'm so good it pains me to see myself so great" or even "You should have done better, trying your best is not an excuse". I'm sick of hearing all you people, so shut the fuck up if you may.

Okay, as you may know, more and more people are now getting into Microsoft's product because of media influence, but let us consider some facts that should benefit the user, not the publisher of the product (a.k.a. WIlliam Gates).

Performance
When it comes to performance, WinAMP takes the cake. WinAMP takes about an average of 1mb to 4mb of your processor, while WMP takes an average of 7mb to 12mb.

Saving your RAM usage for other programs is always a good thing, so this will be your first reason to drop off WMP, and start trying out WinAMP.

UI flexibility
Sad to say, WinAMP can be quite frustrating when it comes to creating a playlist. Unlike WMP, which you create and directly saves the song files that you want, WinAMP requires users to manually save it, which could be a nuinsance if you are creating multiple playlist with the same song files.

Hence, when it comes to UI, WMP still gets the upper-hand on it.


All in all, it comes down to what most user wants - easier, or performance, it's up to you to decide, but personally, I'd go with performance, so to hell with WMP.

Once again, I finally blew my top when it comes to an arguement with that old bitch.

Seriously, nothing (not even my friends) have pissed me off till the limit where I shout in their face with as loud as I could "SHUT UP!".

Asks yourselves, have I ever did that to you? No? Well, that bitch made me do it.

It started very much earlier this morning. I was in the car with her. As we were a little on our way down to my college, I just recalled that I had forgotten to take my keys. As I told her that I forgot to bring it, she insisted that I get out of the car (it was quite a distance to my house) and walk back to my house to get my keys.

I ran back and dropped my pen (unnoticingly) and looked like an idiot (dogs in houses got agitated from me running and barked, people staring at me wondering why I got out of the car and run). It was a little embarassing, but I could not care. I got back to my house and retrieved my keys.

Then, when I wanted to chuck my keys in my back pocket, I realised my pen was not in my shirt's pocket. I had to backtrack to where I had dropped off. The bitch had parked in front of the house, but I could not care, I went to find the pen. She just had to get on my nerves by hitting the horn. I was so fucked up, that I fingered her, regardless of how she was related to me.

Then I picked up the pen (I was lucky the pen was still in one piece). I ran back into the car, and what I get instead? Non-stop of her bitching of the routine you-are-a-bad-son or god-will-punish-for-your-deviant-acts nonsense. I was already pissed when she jumped to conclusions yesterday regarding my personal issue, she just had to stick it to me, doesn't she?

That's when I know that I had reached my limit. I shouted at her, then blasted my music so I won't hear her bitching anymore. I was just one step away from grabbing her fucking head and slammed it on the window until she bleeds.

Call me someone who does not love my mother, but I highly doubt anyone will stand for her fucking retardedness if they were to be in my shoes, for at least a week.

No one else in the world could make me boil up till the extent that I felt like vomitting blood. Heck, I think if I went and have a quick check with the doctor they would probably say I am considered young to have high-blood pressure.

Oh, not to forget, SHE IS A FUCKING RETARDED SLAPSTICK SLUT OF A WRETCHED SCUM BITCH!

Do you often find yourself wondering, "Why doesn't my software/program work on Vista?". The answer is quite simple actually, all due to UAC (User Account Control).

The UAC is what prevents most of us to run certain programs, even after you have set it to run as Administrator. This is one of the most screwed up implementation for Windows Vista, honestly.

I tried re-installing O2Jam while having UAC offed. Installation was as normal, then I attempted to launch the O2Jam Launcher.exe, and guess what? This time it works!

I am updating O2Jam, yes!!


To disable UAC, just click the Windows' Start button, click on your User Icon and choose "Turn User Account Control on or off", and voila, no more stupid restrictions.

In conclusion, Windows Vista has stupid features that may or may not cause trouble to your gaming/working experience (use it only if you are extremely certain, don't regret later).

I have finally decided to take heightened initiative to further expand my story into a global proportion. The story that I have picked for publication would be Destiny.

I finally found a publisher that seem to be interested in my works, just awaiting replies from certain questions that I need clarification myself, then I will be sending in the transcript to the publication for further verification.

Wish me best of luck *crosses fingers*, cause I seriously want my work to be published.

Errhmm, a continuation of how things can get so bad that it only will get worse. Sometimes, people don't understand me much even after being with me for a long time. I don't blame them, I am after all enigmatic.

Well, here's some notes that you guys might want to take down as to not cause more shit than I already am in.

If you see me making more lame jokes than I should, it is a sign that I'm concealing something bad, so instead of staring at me with a great awkward leer, I think the least you could do is make a small laughter, cause, it most likely would get my mind of the thing I am mussing over before.

Sometimes when I get bored, I will completely break off from a routine. I make it quite obvious because I'm trying to say Drop what we're doing and get on with it. The worst part of it is, my parents doesn't know how to read this message. This gets me really pissed and eventually I have to say it out to them in order to make them know that I am tired of whatever it is that we are doing.

The worst I could say is whenever I am bitching about how bad my day is, the best thing NOT to do is to crack lame jokes that has something to do with my nickname or any attributes of mine. I mean, hello, I'm already in some bad mojo and you wanna pep me up by making fun of me? Good idea =Sarcasm Amplified=

So next time, I'm in some bad shit, 2 options:

• Shut the fuck up and leave me alone.


• Pretend nothing is going on, and talk to me the way you usually do

With that, I would like to say my favourite line when it comes to saying something, "If you've got nothing better to say, just shut up".

No, this is not a song explained.

Sometimes, the age old saying "You think you have it easy? Try putting on my shoes!" tends to haunt everyone. What better backdrop than to have the parents think they have it bad when compared to us kids scenario.

Okay, so most of the times I do not do the housework (Sweeping, cleaning, wiping, etc.) may be due to my own workload, and when I start to say that I do have work to do, they think it is much less important compared to these.

I mean like, WTF? Do they even know what I have to go through in the first place? I hate it when they impose that their job is so much more tiring than mine. I'm not exhausted by stamina, but I get an equal amount of shit to put up with.

Being a teenager (or a late one) makes us in a position to worry over 3 major things - studies, appearance and social. Parents do not understand that we have these 3 concerns which tends to taunt us, making us constantly be aware that if we neglect these 3 major concerns, our life as we know it will be over. They think we are the 'kids of the 60s' or something. I mean, get with the program, we're in the 20th century for christ's sake, we are NOT LIKE YOU and we WILL NOT GO THROUGH WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT for US, because IT ISN'T.

I seriously am pissed when they think that whenever I do so much for my studies, they think it is never a painstaking effort worth considering that I might be stressed out from it, and as mentioned before, we have pressure from the other 2 major concerns. I'm sick of how they always put me in a position where I have to keep telling myself "keep holding on, patience will see me through", well I'm sick of that shit.

I swear, the only time I will ever get peace from this shit is if they die. Call me someone who is not filial or just plain cruel, but I hope for them to just kick the bucket sooner, for my sanity's sake.

When I start to type things like this, you can tell I'm either bored or stressed out. These lines are actually lines which I tend to use on a very frequent basis. Enjoy these random lines XD.

From most commonly used to least commonly used:

• "LoL" a.k.a. Laugh(ing) out Loud

As to why this has became one of my most used phrases, it is simply because it is the only way to show someone online that I acknowledged their jokes or to go along with a parody of some sort.


• "WTF" a.k.a. What the f***

Most people who knows me would know that I curse more than I ever praise. There's no better phrase to yell out frustration than the simple 3 Nominal letters which represents something this ... provocative.


• "Err ... right" "...Sure" "Cheeeyea ... right"

I'm sarcastic, plain and simple.


• "Puh .... leeez" (Please, exaggerated)

Yeah, more sarcasm. I'm just extremely sarcastic :P


• "I dunno" (I don't know)

A very common phrase to confirm something unfamiliar, or in simple, dunno la. Although it is a common phrase used by everyone who has even the slightest competence in English, I don't use it as often as most of my other phrases.

As you may have noticed, most of my phrases derived from extremely sarcastic scenarios, that's what makes it my favourite random phrases.

So, what have I been up to recently?

Well, there are a few things that I have been doing that have kept me rather, busy and caused me to be a little uptight.

First, I started to upgrade my PC, and get the power supply box fixed so I can resume using the PC. My PC had added a new DVD-RAM Drive (yep, RAM Drive) cause my old one had a problem and a RAM upgrade from 512 to 1024. Sounds good no? It was for OS users of type Windows XP. Heck, my World of Warcraft ran so smoothly after the upgrade.

Okay, so I was being a little ambitious, so I went on to install the Windows Vista Business Edition, and guess what? SCREWED!

Well, the only real problem would be the Graphic FX Card I have (ATI Radeon X300 SE 256 MB) which makes most of the performance on the new Vista to be a bit sluggish. Sadly, that isn't the end of it. Installing O2Jam was fine, but trying to access its Launcher caused me problem. Everything was going on fine, but after I allow Vista to allow the program to be run, it doesn't work. No error messages, no response, nada.

I mean, WTF? O2Jam of all programs. Even Blueserver Warcraft Loader functions fine but not O2Jam?

Sadly, I will be going on some kinda O2Jam suspension program, in the meantime, World of Warcraft for me =/

P.S. Here's what my keyboard looks like, enjoy :P :


Before you say anything, the space bar is the only thing badly affected from my O2Jamming, I manually removed the windows button because it has conflicts with many other games.

I'm bored, and here are some lame lines that were in my head:

"I know you are but what am I?"
WORST comeback line ever. If you want something as a last resort, never use this, it's pathetic. Sure, using it ONCE in a lifetime is fine, and probably a very nice comeback when you're in the worst of a cat-fight situation, but never use this more than once.

"Girl, do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes."
WORST pick-up line ever. This line went stale 2 decades ago. Try using this if you're gonna pick up a 50 year old chick (I highly doubt they'd even be flattered).

"I owe you one."
WORST line to use as a thank you reply. Never use this unless you know that you WILL be able to return the favour, otherwise, you'll end up like Chuck & Larry.

"You can do it!"
WORST encouraging line ever. If you use this when someone could do it, instead of encouraging it, it would just cause them to lose focus instead of gaining it (way to go).

"So what?"
WORST line to say to me. Let's just say I had some jam with the dude who said that, now the line not only is lame when you want to disagree with the odds of something, you earned yourself a knuckle sandwich from yours truly :)

Okay, so now you know what lines which are lame to me, don't use it on me, kthxbai (p.s. I think kthxbai is lame ;) )

I haven't gotten into blogging much about my start of degree, seeing there was not a really good time to blog about it.

Well, as expected, the ones that continued to degree were dwindling down to less than 10 percent. So far, only Dan and I were left from the groupie.

We started off at Year 2, Semester 1. We skipped the first year of degree (yippee! think of the amount we saved!).

Well, we got to make new friends, and some old ones (like Andy), which were a combination of Computer Science & Gaming and my course, Multimedia Computing. The odd thing about this is, the ratio of students for CS (Com Sci & Game) is higher compared to MC (Multi Com).

Yeah, well, I discovered I was a left-hander-turned-right-handed and became ambidextrous, which I soon realised my potential in creativity, not logical (hmm, maybe that's why my dad keeps saying I'm not logical - I think outside the box too much). Somewhat weird, I have both traits, and it kinda makes me a jack of all trades, instead of a master of something.

The course (at Sem 1), had been pretty relaxing, subjects were within the grasp of my comprehension, but yet I fear for the worse.

Until my PC gets fixed, I will loath around a little longer, my projects have been kinda slow, but I'm still persistent in making the best out of it, wish me luck.

Just went to watch Resident Evil 3: Extinction last Saturday.

Okay, most of my friends were thinking "This is so gonna suck."

I'm like "This is my first Resident Evil movie", so I was sure I'd be surprise, or at least, think of it as a hype.

So like, it started with the 4 of us (Ben, Kenn, Dan and meh), we were thinking that all 4 of us would be in the same theatre. Ben and I got the 2 free tickets which he got free for doing absolutely, nothing (LOLZORS). He was supposed to pick up tickets at 6 p.m., but it soon delayed till 6.45 p.m. (talk about Malaysian's punctuality).

We got seperated from Dan and Kenn soon after due to different theatres. We were down at 7, which was reserved for the free ticket holders.

Okay, getting back to the movie. Well, to me, it was kinda nice (I'm the storyline kinda guy). It had okay effects and it had mild horror/explicit gruesome and gore, but the thing that shooked me most was the booming sounds (oh ... right, I was at a theatre). The sound always spark that chill that runs down my spine.

All in all, Resident Evil 3: Extinction is considered a typical not-so-action-but-not-so-gory film that's worth watching, once.

Here's a small reclusive feedback to some lame advertisements I have seen in Malaysian TV, here's some in particular:

Sunsilk Hair Shampoo Commercial
Okay, I was thinking "What?". See, the whole purpose of having a 'hair' shampoo commercial is to display ones' glorious and lustrous hair after a wash or treatment from the shampoo. So what makes this commercial lame? It's contradicting itself. The woman featured in the commercial is wearing a tudung (A scarf that Muslim women wear in my country over their head), completely and entirely over the woman's hair. I mean, it's a freakin' hair care product, show some hair!

Munchies Wafer Biscuits Commercial
Time to time, this commercial has ticked me the most. Their product is about Wafer Biscuits where there should be scenes of people enjoying the product, not enjoying life or just plain looney. My first impression of the videos spark ideas like an ad for a vacation or a holiday. As the Munchies commercial progresses, the less I see of their products. It becomes even more sillier than it should be, and it is deviating from its main purpose, enjoying the product.


I hope the people behind the commercials comes out with better ideas, because it seriously is LAME.

Another one of my O2Jam Moments, yay~

Finally passed a song higher than lvl 25, here it is:



Now, to work on those lvl 30 and above songs ...

Sometimes I just don't understand why some people can be really stupid.

Maybe, just maybe I should have taken a more cautious step to keep my own private data safe from harm.

My dim witted sister erased all my saved cookies for webbies and the history of my webpages over at Firefox. I mean "WTF!!!", tons of websites URL, tons of remembered passwords, tons of saved websites that I frequent don't remember just goes off like a small breeze that comes and goes so quickly.

What fucking retard is this? I used her iPod without her permission and now she wants revenge? What fucking retard is this?

Okay, I'm one of those kepoh peeps and I tried this from Shannon's blog:

Try it yourself, and see what you are.

For me, this is as close as 90% of my true personality, when matched with this Daemon.

I know, Daemon sounds like 'demon', but then again, meh, people are running out of new names lol. This was taken from the Golden Compass, coming to the silver screens in December.

I couldn't think of a more direct title so this will do.

Anyways, it's kinda surprising that I came down with an illness, but I usually fall sick only when there's an outbreak of some sort, and you guessed it, this time it was a food poisoning outbreak.

Well, it all started around Sunday night when I had to do my business, then went to bed after a shower (and after my business). Throughout the whole night, I was tossing and turning from the heat build-up near my tummy. I was like thinking "Okay, time to wake up. I can't be sleeping with this pain all night."

Earlier the next morning, I had a bad business, it was the first step showing me that I was getting sick. Okay, I thought I could ignore all that and just went on with a normal lifestyle, but I was dead wrong, pfft.

On Monday night, I had fish porridge. I suspect it was the fish chunks in the porridge, cause my mom and dad ate just the porridge without the fish, but then again, who knows how and where I got the illness from. And so, another night of tossing and turning, but the worse part of it is, this time, I'm feeling extremely hot, it was as if I was having a fever. Yep, I had a fever alright, but it was not as fatal as the food poisoning.

I went to the doctor on yesterday to get myself checked up, hoping I would get myself better ASAP. As I had suspected, it was food poisoning after all. What made this the worst so far was it's contagious and there has been an outbreak of this. Okay, this time, I'm a little worried. I usually wouldn't be so worried when it comes to food poisoning as it is just a minor case, but mine was kinda serious and it made me think that being picky when it comes to eating can be good at times.

A lesson learned, never eat stuff at random, it can, or might kill you.

Well, today I had the most ... unusual and probably most annoying dinner ever.

In a glance, it was almost 5 hours long and I feel the Ah Bengness in my environment started to take a toll on me.

We came at the dinner site at about 7.30 p.m. or so, which was supposedly to start at 7 p.m. As typical as a Malaysian we were, but there were others that came at 8 p.m. or later (so, the duh-ness). As we sat there with my uncle, aunt and cousin, I hardly talk to them (communication gap la brader).

Well, when the dinner did finally start, a few of the attendees started going on stage to sing. MY EARS, MY PRECIOUS EARS! Ah well, I just bare with the thing like I usually do and just had the first menu. Guess what? It took them about 20 minutes for the next one. With all due respect, I know a speech by a YB (Yang Berhormat) is important, but 20 minutes till the next dish? Wow ...

The following dishes were prolonged as well due to the auctions they have on 'blessed' items. Everything started with 8s as the price. My uncle seemed to have bid for a rice bucket that was filled with rice and like suppose to bring a symbolism of that there will always be something to eat and the bucket will always be filled with rice for consumption.

Throughout the whole auction, the people were shouting prices and the voice boomed so loud it even interfered with my thinking. Oh my god, only ah bengs shout at the microphones, I mean, it already increases your voice, do you have to scream at it too?

The dinner ended with all the items successfully auctioned, sadly, some people could not stand the wait and left earlier (wise choice maybe?). I did not have a satisfying meal and made me kinda cranky and this is why I'm ranting here.

Anyways, the point is, sometimes when it comes down to this, I'm kinda embarrassed to call myself a Chinese for a fact that, chinese people are very rude, kid's version of rude defies even the laws of sanction. I seriously am pissed with this, and maybe, just maybe, I would even stop considering myself as one, a chinese.

After the incident that happened yesterday, it made me realised how everyone has their limits.

Maybe it was wrong for what I had started, but it had brought to another compromising talk and settled what needs to be settled.

I hope the things that were discussed would change for the better.

Maybe it was just a small action, maybe it was a small mistake, but it ended up with dire consequences ... Maybe I should not have played along to what had happened last night, maybe, just maybe I thought I took the correct actions ... No.

It is high time everyone knew of all the mistakes in my life (family issue). I do have to warn you, it is long and the outcome of reading this will turn your perceptions about me, but I really could not care. To tell you what happened last night, I have to tell you everything that had brought me to where I am now.

It all started at the age of 1 or 2, I was at the beach with my parents (God knows which beach I was on), playing with the sand beneath my feet just nearby the tides of the sea. Okay, so I am 1 or 2 years old, I have no idea what drowning is and why did the water had come on over to my feet and swept me in with a small tide. I never knew how much neglect there was when I was little, until now. Maybe, this explains why I can't, and won't learn to swim.

The next tragedy happened when I was 7, the time where everyone has to go through some sort of immaturity and we do not think like an adult, still. I was not sure what I did that was considered to be bad and defiant, I was then struck by my dad with a plastic chair in my grandma's house. The foot of the chair stayed on my left feet until I was around 15 years old. I know I did something wrong, but at 7, did I deserved this? The problem is, the scar that was left behind that hurt me most wasn't the physical scar, but the one in my heart. Why on Earth do I still remember this if it doesn't hurt me?

The next was when I was 15. I had been influenced to play games by my friends and go on to cyber cafes to play hooky or just neglecting studies. This was definitely a mistake which started by my own actions and yes, I did not mind taking the punishment seeing I was wrong. I was just lucky enough to think for myself that it was a mistake, but I was not smart enough to think how big of an impact this action will affect my future.

17, the year where most Malaysians have to face the dreaded examination - SPM. Although it was of such importance, I still have a little negligence towards studying. Why? I was too involved in games. Yes, I did study, but it was not enough. My parents again find this as a disappointment, but they themselves do not know how much of pain and disappointment I had felt when I took the certificate and watching my own failure, no one does.

At 18, the gaming lust still hangs on. This was not good as it sparked a brutal incident between me and my dad. I know he did it for the sake of my studies and trying to teach me that studying now is more important. Due to that, he had done something which puts me to my limit. Halfway through the game where it was very very important, he had turned my modem off. That was the last draw and my fist was flying towards him. He retaliated, but was not as much as I did. He was hurt in the eye, thanks to me. I was chased outside of my house and I really wanted to run away and just give up this shit of a life I'm having. No doubt it was my fault, but the outcome from this turned out to be a mutual understanding, but it was such a shame that I had to resort to violence.

From that day onward, I had became more rebellious than ever. This would explain why I was more open to swearing and had devious intentions on people. Maybe, after all these years of bearing this pain and keeping it all to myself had caused my dark side to prevail.

Then it happened yesterday. I used Sabrina's iPod without her permission, then she burst into an angry notion saying "Even if I'm your sister, if you took it without my permission it's still stealing. I will call the police and report as if this was a real crime!". Again, I was not in the best of my moods and I already placed dire hatred on her ever since I was 17. Everyone is always envious about her, asking when she'll be home from Singapore and always overshadowing me for my utter 'failure'. I've always been silent when all my mother's sisters (my aunts) always flattered about how good she is. I just kept it all inside, ignoring every shit and comparison I get from them. Why? Because I am your fucking brother for crying out loud!

Then she went on to say "I have friends in the police department ..." and all that fuck shit that I don't give two shit about as I have already heard her bitching over this shit a couple of times. Stop fucking talk big you cock ass. Just cause people like you doesn't mean you have to cock shit to me bitch.

That totally broke my sanity and I retaliated by "You know what, I understand whatever you have said but I don't care whatever shit you're saying". Maybe what I had said made it worst, maybe it wasn't. But I couldn't stand her being the bitch queen and kept putting me down anymore. And that stupid line triggered her to become all bitch-like. She started to ask me back for the stuff she gave me, and she started saying even if I do stay in the new house it was hers and she could kick me out anytime when my parents won't.

So I did. I return all her shit - the handphone, the cologne and the bag. She continued to bitch on how she knows my college department and would ask them to reject my loans and not making me able to study for it. When I went down to get the fucking phone to give it back to the bitch, my dad blamed my mother (which I have no reason why) that this happened because of her. Then my mom had an arguement with him. Then my dad came down and shouted at me "See, this is all your fault!" and sat downstairs and watched his footie. I went up, just forcefully put the fucking phone on her palm and head into my room.

My mom broke down and started crying after watching the whole incident, and after the fight with my dad. My dad came up when she kept saying "I feel like dying" in hokkien. My dad and my sis went to console her and they made confessions. I may be in my room but I heard everything that they said. I cried listening to them as it was the truth, but I had no chance to say anything cause I didn't want to. They kept saying how much they tried to put up with me, but have they even heard my side of the story? No. They always lived in the world of assumptions, thinking this, thinking that.

Haven't I proven enough that I am not the bad kid in the family? I don't smoke. I don't fucking gamble. I don't fucking drink or do anymore shit that you fucking little minds would perceive me to. I am tired of convincing this. I am tired of trying to prove you guys wrong. Sadly, even if you are wrong, I'm not gonna tell you.

I'm sick of living this fucking life. I wish I could just die, but it ain't that easy. If I only I could get over the fear and pain of the process of dying. If only I was not even born in this world.

To all my fellow friends who loves forumming, spamming and blogging, this is a community I would like to introduce you guys to:

The Red Tide forum

It may be small, but everyone counts :)

Make it livelier, show that you care xD

As title mentioned, yes, I passed that freakin' song!

That was like the first time I have ever did it, and as skeptical as I was, I kept rubbing my eyes and pinched myself to see if this was a dream.

Yeah I know, a level 48 o2jammer like myself would have already been able to complete Electro Fantasy HD at EX, but I'm not your every day pro yea know.

So, this is it, my finest hour, my glory that is, a complete!


At last, one of my few must-complete-song list has been cleared with this achievement. Yay~

As the irony goes, I play a game outside of Blueserver and yet people from it knows who I am. With tragic fate, I come across a few that knows my identity. But again I must stress that I am never returning to the innards of Blueserver and its management.

O2Jam for life!

2 days after our final paper, we went on a road trip to Malacca.

Head count!! There was me, Daniel, Kenn, Yan Yan, Boon Yean, Jimmy, Elvis, In Ming, Chunn Khye and not forgetting our star attraction, Wei Yiaw.

2 cars were used to get to Malacca (you don't expect us to walk to Malacca, do you? :P) and the drivers were Jimmy and Wei Yiaw. Wei Yiaw led the troop with me, Daniel, Kenn and Elvis accompanying him in his car. Jimmy led the 2 audacious gals, In Ming and Chunn Khye in his fleet.

The trip was, of course, drowsy. Not to say that the company in the car were boring, it was just that somehow, sitting in a car longer than 10 minutes tend to make me sleepy ...

Anyhow, we got to Malacca on Saturday afternoon and checked into the hotel. At first glance on the outside, I was like "WTF? This crappy old thing?" as the walls were staining of the sign of aging, maybe they needed a new paint job but hey, it bares a symbolic resemblance to a haunted building. Then, when we walked into the lobby of the resort, right before I walked in the door, the view of the inside changed my perception of the place.

It was breathtaking, the view of the pool from the inside (okay, seeing through from the outside to see what was on the other side, which was outside, lol). It captivated me for 5.379 seconds, but I was really happy the place did not turn out too badly.

We checked into 2 rooms, one which was larger than the other. I happened to step foot into the larger one, which was of course, extremely good. I see beds, I see lovely lovely beds! (Yeah, I was still tired lol). I lay on the bed for a few moments to rest up, besides, it only took me 2 minutes anyway, lol. The room beside us had water leakage problem, which made us think of the one and only horror show that was symbolic to this, Dark Water lol. But honestly, the water started to cause a bulge at the door which looks really swollen, as if the wood was exposed to a long period of hydration, which totally spooked me.

The girls made their way to this room seeing the other room could not fit them. As usual, I don't mind giving up those lovely, lovely beds :x and slept on the sofa (which was rather comfortable, by my standards @@).

After leaving our luggage at the hotel, we made ourselves to Jonker Street. Jimmy's friend who happened to be a Malaccan resident lead us there (honestly, you don't expect us to know how to get there by ourselves, lol). It was a revisit to this place again for me since about 7 to 8 years ago. We just had to try the chicken rice ball, as it was one of Malacca's specialty. Soon after, we had cendol, only for the reason of tasting gula Melaka, or 'black sugar'.

After having quite a scrumptious meal, we head back to the hotel and rest up for a little bit. Then we decided to head for a dip in the pool, which was short lived as the rain came pouring down like a blitz of scatter shots.

It was nightfall, and again, it was time for us to dine. We wanted to try Malacca's heritage, nyonya cuisine at first, but then Yan Yan knew a restaurant which had really good food at Jonker Street, but unfornunately, it had closed. I mean, 9.30 p.m. and it was closed? LOL?

This brought us to the option of exploring the night market along the street, which was packed with tons of food stalls. We tried a few things, such as a sausage on a stick, coated with a flavouring of choice (how interesting :)) and a 'Pun cai ko'(I don't really know how to translate this) which was a small disc-like gelatinous thingy, which tasted fine. Then, I found a stall that sold glasses, and yes, that was one of the things on the list which I wanted to get ever since 2 years back. When I asked for the price at first, which cost 15 bucks per pair, it made me look at my already empty wallet. I bitterly said goodbye to that gorgeous glasses.

Later, we head to a small shop which sold a numerous variety of actual meals, which I then ordered a bowl of Tom Yam Seafood Noodle (pricey >_<) for 5 bucks. As some of us had finished our meal, we took this time to explore more of what the night market have in store for us. At this time, I changed my mind and made my way back to the stall that was selling those glasses. I just had to have them, and there goes my 15 bucks.

As we drew to a conclusion to head back to the hotel (after each of us purchasing at least something, lol), we decided to head to a bistro. The funny thing was, we were so eagerly wanting to get in, but we were so undressed for the occasion. I was quite reluctant to get in at first, but who cares, these kind of things don't just come across everyday. We decided to enjoy ourselves and let nothing stand in our way of that, but then, we chose not to go in seeing the place was having pricey liquor (too bad =/).

We decided to go to a nearby 7-eleven to get some hard stuff and some snacks which we then crack open at the hotel to celebrate our moment of togetherness. Of course, I could not afford it even if the price has been reduced to an affordable state, I was broke and all I did was bought a bottle of 100-plus (geez ...) and a packet of Twisties.

We then head back, had a party in the larger room, of course. The party was abruptly interrupted by the sudden appearance of a birthday cake to celebrate Daniel's belated birthday. Actually, we knew it before hand, we just wanted to catch Daniel off-guard and it did the trick, and fortunately for us, it went well. We then watched a horror flick on TV called 'An American Haunting', which got me up all night as it gave me a fright when I wanted to head for bed, but my fatigue kicked in just right and I was off in slumber land once more.

The next morning, we had breakfast, complimentary of the hotel, which actually was available for 4 people only. As sly as we were, we snucked in when no one was aware of it, and made the 4 free meals into 10, lol. The food was not bad, but it was going really fast. I only had a small taste of the nasi lemak and some hash browns, oh, and not forgetting some bakery stuff.

As we all finished our breakfast, we packed our stuff and checked out of the hotel. It was brief, but it was enjoyable. As we checked out, our next destination was the A'Famosa Water Park. As expected, this was a theme park that has the theme going. It had numerous water rides, but when it comes to land rides, they have zip. As always, I wanted to go for the super-scary rides, but back then, I never had the guts to do it, but it was like a moment of truth, our last time for us to be together, why not make it memorable?

We tried different rides, and then we spotted the ultimate one. The super dive, or its original name 'High Speed'. Of course, the girls did not join us (as to the reason why, well, let's just say they have their reasons). So, most of the boys went for the high and fast plunge down that slide, and I had to take off my shirt (OH GOD!). I was a little afraid at first, but then again, my randomness kicked in and made me dive down that chute. It was not scary at first, but when it started to plunge at first, it got my heart racing. Then, when I got out of the covered chute, I was like 'Why can't I feel anything under me?'. I was like OMG! as I felt like I was floating in mid-air, then I plunged into the opened chute with all the water splashing into my eyes, which did calm me down (if my eyes were opened while I plunged, I think I might faint). As I made my descent, I was like overwhelmed. I did an extreme ride and I was thoroughly enjoying it. Wei Yiaw and Kenn went in before I did and I was expecting Elvis to do the same, but he didn't, oh well.

After finishing those rides, we had our meal, not considered a lunch, but not a tea break either. The food was okay, after all, we paid like 12 bucks for it ...

We then dried up, packed our stuff and head back to our respective cars to drive home. We bid Malacca farewell and got back on our journey to continue the rest of the chapter in our lives as KDU students, diploma students.

It was an experience like no other, and I was thankful to have experienced it with my true friends, will miss you guys lots, and hope we will meet up again someday.

So, the time has come for all the doors to close, and perhaps new doors of opportunity to open.

I was kind of bumped out by my performance in OOP, which becomes a major factor that scrutinized my judgment to actually study up for SDD, but the very least, I forced myself to study even the slightest part of the subject.

It did paid off, but not to a satisfactory level. The paper had its ups and downs, some were as easy as baking a pie, and the rest was like holy shit!

No doubt I knew it would be a disastrous outcome (my grades) for this here subject, I still put aside that, and embraced what was, the ultimate freedom.

As always, we hit the karaoke stand for another 'pain relieve' session where we blared out our pain and stress, which in a weird way, does help soothe the aching head of the matters that seem to bother us.

All in all, the day went well with a happy ending, just like from the fairy tales. As to where we go from here, only God knows.

Wishing all my college mates a good career in the future, and don't forget what was, and what have been :)

Hakenden.

Well, it was my third day and but with most of the other times that I have felt the re occurrence of sloth and laziness, I did not take much initiative to study.

Forcefully, I had made a big mistake neglecting them and it really pisses me off. It was hard enough trying to stay away, but getting closer to it was so much harder than I thought.

With much doubts, I slept another night with the lingering guilt that I cannot seem to get my mind off. The next day, I woke up abruptly from my dad's call.

It was like, 1p.m. CRAP! I forgot to set my darn alarm! It was like 1 hour till my tragic fate with the exam. I rushed to shower and went for my college as soon as I could, along the way I had my brunch (sort of). I took this small opportunity to read my Java book just to clear my guilt.

I got into the hall at about 2p.m. I managed to arrive in the nick of time. Taking my seat, I slowly browse through the paper. As expected, the number of codes that were needed to type were abundant ...

I aced the theory as I am taking this exam, for the SECOND time. The UML diagram translation was not much of a problem, but the internal coding was really ****ed up.

No turning back. No regrets. Just go for it, that was what my inner sanity was telling me.

With that, I exit the hall, praying that this would all go well, for tomorrow will be the ultimatum ...

Hakster

As always, sort of a jet lag like experience for me.

I practically didn't study much for MYH because part of me find it to be very boring, as well as the urge has gone after having finished what seemed to be the feel of a dreaded nightmare, MWS.

So I stepped into the hall, the one, the very same that I had sat in for MWS, room 110.

Much to my surprise, the question came out ... tougher than expected.

It was very much comparable to Mr. Alex's style of question presenting, the only thing that made my day for that paper was that the characters in each of the scenario was based on X-Men characters ...

Firstly, there was Cyclops. Okay, so I thought it was some one-eyed dude and etc. Followed by Rogue (referred as she, which gives away that she's from X-Men) and Logan (pfft ... Wolverine).

Anyways, the questions were quite tough, and I was at a blur. Trying to decide if I should stress more on answering, or stress more on finding out that this was turning out to be a little bit more devastating than I had imagine.

But I had to move on, no point struting over wasted efforts (was there even effort placed in it in the first place?)

I left that hall and didn't look back, I just kept on walking, and walking, and walking ...

There were mixed up emotions fluttering before me and I could not really get a grip, but I told myself that I had to take a deep breath, it's not over, 2 more days, I must hold on to my sanity for a little longer.

Hakenden

I woke up at 12pm or so today and I was thinking, "So this is it ..."

Earlier on (like 7am or so) I hit the bed to rest from the scariest killer study routine I've ever done in my life. Maybe it has all paid off, maybe, I just don't know.

It was 2pm, I walked into that room with all of my classmates sitting at their own tables, scribbling profusely to place what they have been studying for. I was so nervous, I could barely breathe. The funny thing was, I did not show any physical signs of being afraid.

I opened the sheet and to my surprise, it was rather easy. I could finally feel the air brushes through my lungs again, and I can finally lower my heart's pulse.

Although it was easier than expected, I have a very very strong feeling that I will fail this ...

God, have faith in me (or rather, give me some luck), I hope I can just barely scrape through and pass this exam, I wouldn't wanna stay anymore as a diploma student ...

Hakenden

Among all the songs I've heard that 'seemed' to be of connection to demonic sanctions, nothing comes as eerily as the Toccata and Fugue.

This song is breath-taking, in a word. Although endorsed by its powerful and dark nature of the piece, it is actually one of the most energetic piece done by Bach himself.

Many reviews have come to a conclusion that this may not be one of his pieces as it defies what most of his works were. As most of his Fugue was with a more linear and simplistic harmony, this was of a more sinister and twisting symphony.

No one would have thought that a Fugue like this for the piece of organ would produce something that hides such an evil force which sends chills down one's spine. Some may perceive it as such, but I find it to my liking.

As much as this piece have been given 'life' time after time with a shroud of darkness, this music will live on as long as there's still the untimely battle between good versus evil scenario.

Pronounced as 'Bone Odour-ree', the one event that truly spurs me.

This japanese festival caught my attention because, instead of us, chinese celebrating the passing of our ancestors by the customary tomb sweeping event - complies to being a very very sad recollection of the memories we had with our ancestors, the japanese tends to bring forth a magical and something about it always puts some sort of a happy feel to it, instead of mudane sadness.

While chinese visits the tombs and graves of our ancestors, the japanese goes to a large plain field and setup small little stores, just like a little carnival and people visits each of these stores to purchase items that ranged from edible to plain souvenirs.

One of the common stores found in a Bon Odori is 'gold fish catching'. Participants are given small nets to catch gold fishes in a large open bucket and whatever you can catch, you keep it. This is highly amusing if you think catching fish to be a boring task, you'd be surprise.

Another common store found in Bon Odori is that of a little knick-knack store. The knick-knack stores usually sell home-made items like small little dolls made out of porcelain or even a customary beaded chain. All in all, this is one store most gals would not resist to visit (not to mention not resisting to buy them).

It truly is a wonder how they could celebrate an event such as this. Probably, a memorial to those who have made us, us and given us a life that we live until today.

Oh yeah, I'm also hinting to you guys if you wanna go to our very own version of Bon Odori :P

Peace

Hakenden

Urgh, I think I'll die from over abundance of assignments this semester ...

I mean, yeah, I had 5 subjects per/semester back then, but at least there were more theories than practical. This semester, practically 4 of the subjects I took was like, MAJOR practical and programming.

I caught a nasty flu cause my sleep time was distraughted, and my parents yelled at me for not sleeping well. Maybe I should ask them, "Well, how would YOU like to take my place and do my assignments for me so I can sleep well, hmm?"

Gawd, I'm sick of them constantly thinking that studying is like a breeze. No doubt, the studying part is, but not the freakin' assignments.

Sometimes they do not know how to see the whole thing, the big picture. It practically just pisses me off trying to educate them, but what goes in just comes out through the other ear, honestly, why do I even bother?

Sigh, I feel like suiciding from this madness ...

As the days passed and my withered soul throws itself away into a dark and dank place, I find myself rather riveted by its gloom and shade that brings what seemed to be comfort.

Enough with the chitter-chatter. I am always thinking that I have been trying too hard to achieve what seemed to be a goal which I could grasp with my hands, but alas, it was not to my liking. I had intended to be on the top of my game, but guess it was not meant to be.

My dying dreams, my wasted efforts, my longing glory - they have been a waste of my time.

Thanks for all he good times peeps, it was fun knowing you guys at Blueserver. It is high time I packed my bags and leave that place for good, and I mean it.

Although those ups and downs were not as, how do I put it, astonishing as I had expected, it was still, the best of times, be it good or bad.

Regretably, like most of the veterans of Blueserver, I will be leaving it for good. +1 to a permanent leaver for Blueserver, cheerio.

Hakenden

Okay, so like I'm towards the end of my course for diploma, and questions are popping up "WHERE TO HEAD NEXT, SONNY BOY?"

Yeah well, where I am now is not what I had pictured 3 years ago.

With all due respect, I like the current course I'm taking, but still, sigh, my true passion for science or literature was not fulfilled.

On this corner; filling up one's mind on how stuff works, it's - Biochemistry!

Indeed. Not much have been said but I seriously LOVE <3 LURV LUV (ok, enough love for today XD) Science, especially Biology, with all the cool synthesis, processes, metabolic changes, hormonal effects and etc. Lol.

Anyways, I had been a pure science student, and weird enough, by choice. I like science, sue me.

I wanted Biochemistry so badly that I never thought about the financial issue, until it finally hits me hard, WHAM!

Generally, due to funds, I was not able to discover this new horizon, sigh.

On the other corner; nothing soothes you better than lovely and poetic literacy - Literature!

At first glance, I never actually thought about taking Literature until Ben came along and told me, "You love writing so much, why not just take Literature?"

WHAM! He told me that when I was in like, err, my 3rd semester =/


So yeah, life is hard, you don't get what you want, but what can you do? Firstly, STOP MOPPING and accept the fact that things goes on the way it is. DEAL WITH IT.

Another not so goth reminder by Hakster.

Peace.

The road seems to have found its end. Brighttest of the day's sunlight could never made it clearer. There is no more path beyond this.

My journey in blueserver has reached its end. The grueling and struggles of countless battles have drawn to a conclusion - I lost to a power hungry psychopath bitch.

They say power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts whole. This goes true for the scenario that blueserver is going through right now.

Well, can't blame the founder. A first love can be TERRIBLY wrong. This somehow seem to be the aftermath of such blind love.

First of, anyone bothered to ask these questions:

1. Where did Steffi come from?
2. How did she knew Mega/Evert Chin?
3. Why on Earth is he so confounded by this OBVIOUS sign of infatuation?
4. Is Steffi even a SHE?
5. How could a 3 year old bond between friends be destroyed by a relationship that started less than 1 month?

These questions, of course will never be answered by anyone but Evert himself. He will watch his own destruction in the coming, and I'm glad I was a part of it.

It is just a few hours before I turn on over to my second decade of existence here on Earth. What would any ordinary fella do? Just think of it as the passing of another day.

I was minding my on business, going on with my everyday stuff and the routines which leads to another ordinary day, but that was all about to change.

After my final class, OOP, I walked with Kenn to blitzone to have a look if the new RO Free Official Server released its CDs where we could purchase a copy of our own. Well, I kknew it, the CDs were not sold there, bummer. Then, we met up with Ben, Kazu and Yiaw at Yu Yi and had our lunch there (well, they had lunch, I didn't, lol).

Well, after the usual meal-after-classes, I thought we would just go to Kenn's house and play cards for awhile before we evenutally head home. As we walked home, we met up with Andy and Ben suddenly rushed to the college. I asked Kazu why he did so, and got a replied that Ben forgot to take something. Being as gullible as I was, I believed him and continued to Kenn's house.

We arrived in Kenn's house and we started playing Cheat!. The game was not really tense but still, it was fun. Momentarily, I saw Boon Yean coming in through the door and into Kenn's house. This may seem weird as I don't recall her usually hanging with us at Kenn's house. Oh wells, I just kept on with the game idea. Kazu then abruptly stood up and went behind, and I thought he was going to the loo.

As he returned, he started singing a song, and there in his hands, was a cake! He was singing the birthday song. It was chocolate cake and had 2 candles on it. I thought, they must have known about my birthday. I was really surprised and at the same time terharu over this. I was really overjoyed with the celebration, I blew off the candles and made a wish.

We then waited for Sherlly to come and do the honours of cutting the cake, as like what Kenn says, it's part of our birthday ammendment and tradition of some sort among our buddies. I seriously found this to be so terharu-like as I never expected so many of my college buddies to celebrate my birthday.

As we 'devoured' the cake, Sherlly suggested to go to the karoake for a good time. Boon Yean couldn't make it cause she has classes, which was such bad timing =(, I really wish she had come. Again, it is like some sort of a tradition where birthday cakes are followed up with a singing session XD

We made our way to the karoake with Kah Yin, William and George who tagged along too. As always, I felt a bit awkward listening to them singing in chinese, but oh wells, it wouldn't hurt to just listen, no?

The first song happened to be one of the chinese songs I liked listening, which was by Gary Cao and Zhou Wen Xuan bearing the title, 'Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye'. I was like, "Woot! my favourite song!" and picked up the mike. As the song started, it was Gary's part, which I started to sing. When this happened, Yiaw and Kenn got surprised as they knew I was quite a banana and they started to cheer in a berserked manner. I was laughing as well because I knew that would be their reaction after hearing me, usually a banana to them singing in chinese, lol. I chose a few English songs as usual.

Everyone else had a blast too, singing, laughing and basically just let out a lot of 'frustration'. But as always, all good thing comes to an end.

At 6 pm, everyone had left and we sang our last songs.

I went back shortly after when we had dinner in DJ.

I truly enjoyed this marvelous day, thanks to all my really good friends and buddies for pulling something like that just for me, thanks! I will never forget this and I will cherish it forever. Thanks!

Ever wondered that there is more to a person than you see?

This holds true for almost everyone in this world, including me.

Sometimes it is hard to explain to someone whom you are really close that what they see isn't exactly the complete picture of who you are, because the consequences are dire and you might lose more than you bargain for.

The fear that the complete truth of your 'other half' will totally consume you up alive will agitate you to unlock that deep surpression within you, but at the same time, you are uncertain that they would accept you the way you are as to why you have that 'dark' side.

Sometimes, that is how SuperBoy from Smallville feels when opening up to someone close to them regarding his other half. That very same feel molds a mask which one has to use to cover-up what is not meant to be shown to the world. These masks are constantly used by everyone, and sometimes it bears a heavy price, and not forgetting the pain of having to lie to people.

Maybe, that is the reason goths became goths. I mean, goths are those who managed to release their surpressions in a rather, flambouyant but at the same time controlled manner.

I always envy goths because they stick to it. As for me, I'm stuck between sweet and hate. I guess, when the real time comes, my anger will consume me whole, and my 'other side' will be in full control, and I might just let it.

Ahh, music.

What man can live without?

The recent tragedy that had befallen upon my PC - virus infection which caused my System Restore to be locked away from access, thus, the major concern of unable to return my computer files and settings to a time when it is usable, not to mention the trouble you'll avoid having data destroyed.

This has led me to the conclusion of having to purchase an original Windows XP Home Ed. to clarify that the problem existed due to piracy (RM300 DOWN THE DRAIN WTF!). Well, even so that the cash isn't from my own pocket, I felt the pain of having the cash leaving from my dad's wallet ...

Well, I thought a complete reformatting would be a good idea to clear the already infected files and configurations, yes, it did clear all the kinky little errors, but with it, all my important configurations have been messed up, or gone. Getting the drivers back for my graphic was not a problem, nor was the virus protection utility. Well, the sound card seems to be aghast with problems and I hear no sound coming from my computer.

The thing is, the incompatible signed drivers for Windows XP are there, but I do not want to risk another malfunction. After getting help from a good friend of mine, the problem still persist - I COULD NOT FRIGGIN INSTALL THE SOUND CARD DRIVERS.

That is when the real problem persist - NO SOUNDS! All I can hear from that wretched piece of technology is 'TIT' 'TIT' 'TIT' whenever a Windows generated window for errors or plain messages appears. THAT SOUND IS GOD DARN ANNOYING.

Due to this reason, I have been restricted from playing games such as o2jam. I mean, gee golly, o2jam is like the bomb as it is a musically inclined game (no swashbuckling nonsense and etc.). I thought, 'Fine, I can deal without games, but NOT MUSIC'. No sound = no music = no life. NO SOUNDS, NO MUSIC, NO LIFE!

It really sucks when there are no music playing at the backdrop of your reality. Many people tend to forget the importance of sound in whatever they are doing. Like, when you are down in the dumps with your work, assignment or whatever that burdens you, there's always that media player comforting you by your side, playing those sweet tunes which works better than any soothing tea you can probably find in this world.

Now, my life is empty without the music that once brighten my life. Oh, not to mention, the ipod nano my sis dropped for my dad, who knows NOTHING of such on how it works won't let me use it.

Fine, I'll rot in my world of silence.