Okay, so like I'm towards the end of my course for diploma, and questions are popping up "WHERE TO HEAD NEXT, SONNY BOY?"

Yeah well, where I am now is not what I had pictured 3 years ago.

With all due respect, I like the current course I'm taking, but still, sigh, my true passion for science or literature was not fulfilled.

On this corner; filling up one's mind on how stuff works, it's - Biochemistry!

Indeed. Not much have been said but I seriously LOVE <3 LURV LUV (ok, enough love for today XD) Science, especially Biology, with all the cool synthesis, processes, metabolic changes, hormonal effects and etc. Lol.

Anyways, I had been a pure science student, and weird enough, by choice. I like science, sue me.

I wanted Biochemistry so badly that I never thought about the financial issue, until it finally hits me hard, WHAM!

Generally, due to funds, I was not able to discover this new horizon, sigh.

On the other corner; nothing soothes you better than lovely and poetic literacy - Literature!

At first glance, I never actually thought about taking Literature until Ben came along and told me, "You love writing so much, why not just take Literature?"

WHAM! He told me that when I was in like, err, my 3rd semester =/


So yeah, life is hard, you don't get what you want, but what can you do? Firstly, STOP MOPPING and accept the fact that things goes on the way it is. DEAL WITH IT.

Another not so goth reminder by Hakster.

Peace.

The road seems to have found its end. Brighttest of the day's sunlight could never made it clearer. There is no more path beyond this.

My journey in blueserver has reached its end. The grueling and struggles of countless battles have drawn to a conclusion - I lost to a power hungry psychopath bitch.

They say power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts whole. This goes true for the scenario that blueserver is going through right now.

Well, can't blame the founder. A first love can be TERRIBLY wrong. This somehow seem to be the aftermath of such blind love.

First of, anyone bothered to ask these questions:

1. Where did Steffi come from?
2. How did she knew Mega/Evert Chin?
3. Why on Earth is he so confounded by this OBVIOUS sign of infatuation?
4. Is Steffi even a SHE?
5. How could a 3 year old bond between friends be destroyed by a relationship that started less than 1 month?

These questions, of course will never be answered by anyone but Evert himself. He will watch his own destruction in the coming, and I'm glad I was a part of it.

It is just a few hours before I turn on over to my second decade of existence here on Earth. What would any ordinary fella do? Just think of it as the passing of another day.

I was minding my on business, going on with my everyday stuff and the routines which leads to another ordinary day, but that was all about to change.

After my final class, OOP, I walked with Kenn to blitzone to have a look if the new RO Free Official Server released its CDs where we could purchase a copy of our own. Well, I kknew it, the CDs were not sold there, bummer. Then, we met up with Ben, Kazu and Yiaw at Yu Yi and had our lunch there (well, they had lunch, I didn't, lol).

Well, after the usual meal-after-classes, I thought we would just go to Kenn's house and play cards for awhile before we evenutally head home. As we walked home, we met up with Andy and Ben suddenly rushed to the college. I asked Kazu why he did so, and got a replied that Ben forgot to take something. Being as gullible as I was, I believed him and continued to Kenn's house.

We arrived in Kenn's house and we started playing Cheat!. The game was not really tense but still, it was fun. Momentarily, I saw Boon Yean coming in through the door and into Kenn's house. This may seem weird as I don't recall her usually hanging with us at Kenn's house. Oh wells, I just kept on with the game idea. Kazu then abruptly stood up and went behind, and I thought he was going to the loo.

As he returned, he started singing a song, and there in his hands, was a cake! He was singing the birthday song. It was chocolate cake and had 2 candles on it. I thought, they must have known about my birthday. I was really surprised and at the same time terharu over this. I was really overjoyed with the celebration, I blew off the candles and made a wish.

We then waited for Sherlly to come and do the honours of cutting the cake, as like what Kenn says, it's part of our birthday ammendment and tradition of some sort among our buddies. I seriously found this to be so terharu-like as I never expected so many of my college buddies to celebrate my birthday.

As we 'devoured' the cake, Sherlly suggested to go to the karoake for a good time. Boon Yean couldn't make it cause she has classes, which was such bad timing =(, I really wish she had come. Again, it is like some sort of a tradition where birthday cakes are followed up with a singing session XD

We made our way to the karoake with Kah Yin, William and George who tagged along too. As always, I felt a bit awkward listening to them singing in chinese, but oh wells, it wouldn't hurt to just listen, no?

The first song happened to be one of the chinese songs I liked listening, which was by Gary Cao and Zhou Wen Xuan bearing the title, 'Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye'. I was like, "Woot! my favourite song!" and picked up the mike. As the song started, it was Gary's part, which I started to sing. When this happened, Yiaw and Kenn got surprised as they knew I was quite a banana and they started to cheer in a berserked manner. I was laughing as well because I knew that would be their reaction after hearing me, usually a banana to them singing in chinese, lol. I chose a few English songs as usual.

Everyone else had a blast too, singing, laughing and basically just let out a lot of 'frustration'. But as always, all good thing comes to an end.

At 6 pm, everyone had left and we sang our last songs.

I went back shortly after when we had dinner in DJ.

I truly enjoyed this marvelous day, thanks to all my really good friends and buddies for pulling something like that just for me, thanks! I will never forget this and I will cherish it forever. Thanks!

Ever wondered that there is more to a person than you see?

This holds true for almost everyone in this world, including me.

Sometimes it is hard to explain to someone whom you are really close that what they see isn't exactly the complete picture of who you are, because the consequences are dire and you might lose more than you bargain for.

The fear that the complete truth of your 'other half' will totally consume you up alive will agitate you to unlock that deep surpression within you, but at the same time, you are uncertain that they would accept you the way you are as to why you have that 'dark' side.

Sometimes, that is how SuperBoy from Smallville feels when opening up to someone close to them regarding his other half. That very same feel molds a mask which one has to use to cover-up what is not meant to be shown to the world. These masks are constantly used by everyone, and sometimes it bears a heavy price, and not forgetting the pain of having to lie to people.

Maybe, that is the reason goths became goths. I mean, goths are those who managed to release their surpressions in a rather, flambouyant but at the same time controlled manner.

I always envy goths because they stick to it. As for me, I'm stuck between sweet and hate. I guess, when the real time comes, my anger will consume me whole, and my 'other side' will be in full control, and I might just let it.