That harboring feeling. It's not as I had thought.

I always thought I can live on my own, that I can easily be alienated and still survive in my own island but the terms have changed. I have changed.

It's not easy to maintain a relationship. No, I'm not talking about soulmate kind but for friendship itself. Maybe I'm more outspoken when it comes to empathetical sense of value and that I am a little more sensitive than others and I shy away from what seem to be a foreign emotional exchange but that is no reason for me to change into something I'm not that fits you perfectly, no?

It just seems hard enough to maintain so many connections and I do treasure every one of it, bless you. It feels like I'm drifting away from all that I've known, all that I came to know.

What happened to the days when we went out for Blueserver gatherings? What happened to the days we sit down at Starbucks and just talk about absolutely nothing? What happened to the times when I thought I could trust you with something that I thought was embarassing?

All that was, all that have been were to naught?

When can I say that when I need a helping hand or just support to when I'm feeling down. It's as though I've lost that in all of you.

In a simpler means, I just wish all my local friends were still in contact, it seems I have better relationship with long distance friends. A sad but strange fact, I think people have better term of friendship if they were miles away, not the opposite.

So think again. Are your close friends really close to you?