I know, it hasn't been long since I started driving. Roughly only about a year or so and I'd found out the typical Malaysian drivers that are on the road currently. I know it's stereotyping but seriously, their driving skills are best off being displayed elsewhere, not a busy highway or on constantly crammed up road used by everyone.


To begin, let us highlight several classes of drivers:


The Butt Sniffers

Have you ever taken your first step onto the big road? Thinking, what the heck, let's try the big boy's lane for a change and rev up to a higher gear, seeing yourself speeding through the traffic, passing by everyone. "So long suckers! Haha!" was the first thought you had in mind as you see everyone slowly slides behind at your view and enjoying the cruising.

But wait, what is that coming from behind. Someone must have hit play on the Jaw's theme as you sense a slight chill inching its way towards you. Then you turn to look at your rear view mirror. A big ass SUV or anything of equivalent size and power, surpassing your speed and catching up to you. Oh, they can sense the fear alright. So close, they could almost hear you scream. They can tell fear and panic from the ogling eyes you have by taking multiple glances at them.

Fresh meat!!!!

Oh yes, they want your blood alright. They will stop at nothing, and I mean ... oh wait a second, there's a way to get them off your ass, literally. If someone's been tailgating you for more than 15 seconds, they're definitely hoping you'd move aside and continue sniffing more asses in front of you who aren't on par with their speed. Just to annoy them, start slowing down. Though, I won't guarantee if the new blood who loves sniffing asses would break in time but for the seasoned road bullies they will slow down and back off or just cut to another lane given the chance, speeds up and overtakes you.


Of course, this only applies if you're not traveling at 70 kmph on a 110 kmph highway, if so then you're categorized as the next class of drivers:


The Hakuna Matata

Remember my previous post on Tidak Apa attitude? This happens to be another aspect that most Malaysians are succumb to falter to as well. Cruising at the right most lane at 60 kmph at average on a highway. This don't just happen on Sundays, practically everyday. Honestly, no one likes driving that slow on a freeway let alone on any other road. I mean like hello, we drive to get to the destination and not for the sake of having been riding in a automobile, most of the time anyway.

The Hakuna Matatas' will most likely rival the Butt Sniffers at a heated battle on the road. Usually, the latter gives up and just overtakes them as the Hakuna Matatas continue to take their own sweet time. All I can say is, most of these kinda drivers come all the way North of Malaysia, if you catch my drift (lame road related pun intended).


If these two classes of driver aren't enough to make you think twice about crossing paths with them, here's another:


The Rule-breaker

Pretty straight forward what these kind of drivers are like. Above all, they are the ones that causes the most trouble and accidents for everyone indiscriminately. Not only are they endangering their own life with their recklessness, they have no regards over the safety of others which makes these rule-breakers a major concern in road safety. Common actions include swerving to the left and right, moving in and out of lanes without signalling and basically everything else - without a warning.

Be aware that they'll do anything to keep themselves ahead of you. Either join in their ways or just move aside and see them speed off into oblivion, like the goodie good two shoes you are, just like the next class of drivers!


It's the Law!

Yeah yeah pip-squeak, we know how you love the rules so you will NEVER break the rules. In your perfect little world where everything has to be in order and stuff *goes on and on with more obedient sarcasm*

Taunt aside, these drivers are a rare sight in Malaysia. Even if there is, it is because they are under loads of oppression or being constantly scrutinized by someone that they should stick with the rules, or else. Not saying this is bad or anything, but I would say it is close to impossible to find these kind of drivers that is 100% bona-fide wholesome goodness.


These 4 classifications are just but the usual ones you will see on the road, there could be more out there, waiting to be explored by yours truly. As for where do I stand in this here classifications? None, or all. I'm a little bit of all of the above, as sure some people out there are.

So which class do you belong to?