It's just passed frustrating. I think to myself, "Why am I suffering so much just to be condemned at the end of the day?". "Wouldn't it be much better if I could just die and leave all my cares behind me?".

Those thoughts buzzing through my head constantly. It never stops haunting me no matter how much I try to deny it.

I may only be 23 years of age but I have seen too much to just let myself go by as a 'newbie' and constantly be 'challenged' by how much force I can take.

The most depressing thing about anyone's life is that no one would acknowledge that person's struggle until they are dead or otherwise left nothing but memories of what was once their existence in life. It all boils down to understanding. Is it so hard today, for even people to start acknowledging the things around them?

I'm really really sick of everything. I'm so sick of this new transition in life. I'm so sick that I even have to work off hours. I'm so sick of constantly having to go to the office. I'm so sick that some people don't understand the amount of pressure and stress I go through everyday.

Working life is just a major detour in my life, and boy have this ride gotten bumpy. I was hired as a copywriter, yet I still do odds and ends which yes, my skill in these 'odds and ends' are slower than an average person. I major in typing, pure typing! I don't have expertise in extricating from a source, then paste it in HTML, java, aspx or whatever web language out there in the fastest of means. I'm slow, deal with it! I'm trying my best to speed it up, nothing works! Yet I'm being flurried off and constantly being squashed on a lot of duties. FUCK IT.

I take pride in what I do but this time, I've drawn my last straw. I'm not really doing what I like in overall. I'm a writer, not a freakin' clerk or a desk boy cum amateur designer cum web maintenance guy cum copywriter. NO!

Just to meet deadlines, I even have to work from home. The lack of sleep and rest on weekdays are calling for more fatigue and anxiety attacks on me. I really can't fucking take all these shit all at once.

I swear, if I had to do my work from the comforts of home constantly, I am much more productive in that sense. Or maybe, the place I'm working at I just can't do much besides staring at my PC and the most, surf the web/Facebook/Twitter whatever. I'm deprived of having any life at all.

Even if I could come back from work early, I have left less than 5 hours to - eat, socialise, free gaming period. That isn't enough and I can't always compromise my sleeping hours for it. My only off time is weekends and the extra hours I have are spent on just sleep. I'm not the workaholic kind and I don't want to constantly have work in front of my face 24/7.

What adds to all this bullshit is that some people don't understand the stress I have. These few people always think I may have it all and that I don't show any hint that I'm in a fucking load full of stress and depression is because I don't want to involve you in this and yet you continue to poke me more often by ADDING more stress on me. Yeah, I'm seriously fucking pissed at all of you who did this to me.

Firstly, I wish someone somewhere somehow would get it through my mom's thick skull that I'm not exactly living in luxury and that I can handle things on my own, eventually. Stress from work is already enough to make me want to shout to the heavens, I don't need you to come nag at me for fuck sake. Though I may handle things at my own pace and you might not like it, screw off! It's my fucking life, don't tell me what to do. I'm not fucking 8 years old, I can handle myself.

Secondly, I wish that some people would stop boasting their ego and keep their selves so reserved that you shun the world from you. Dude, being too cautious only makes you lose out more than you bargain for you shallow and pathetic faggot. Just because you forge a name for you and the guild you are in doesn't make YOU any better than those fucked up guilds out there. Your mentality sucks, grow 2 fucking balls man.

I had to squeeze in as much time as I can to just finish this entry. Oh wait, I just remembered something - I've still got work to do (and I'm back at home to boot!). If anyone wants to take my life, feel free to do so, you'll be ending my misery.