A sudden realization builds up from my inner sanctity.

Why have I been fighting this whole time? What is the whole purpose of wasting my time to pursue something but through vulgar means? To find the answer. To find for something that what most people could never understand and comprehend. Understanding.

Perhaps fighting mindlessly now is no longer the answer to the solution. It has come to me that there has to be compromise before we can attain a mutual understanding and finally, acceptance.

I may have done some things which I can never own up to apologize to my parents, but I know now that I can still make a difference. Tolerance, compromising what is needed to go for the greater good.

Life is a perilous process of learning, but it is worthwhile when we attain that little piece of knowledge we get along the way. Be thankful, cause I know right now that I am.

Okay, tonight I worked extremely late and I thought it all could have paid off when I could return to my home and get 1 base level up and about at least of a minimum of 10 skill points for sword, but sigh, that won't happen as planned.

It's 2 a.m., it took 1 minute before a barrage of attacks I made to the Excavator Alfa starts flying out. What The Fuck?

Being as shitty as they should be, Asiasoft came up with more crappy contents (Nation War, a.k.a. Tierra Gloriosa) which soon after I downloaded yesterday, caused me to (in chronological order) reinstall cabal and patch up to the latest patch due to the error of unable to create CabalMain.exe or whatever, PC going through a disk scan (first ever since I installed Vista) and last but not least, a re-update of the CabalMain launcher thingy today. Way to go ShitSoft.

As far as I know, iZZi has been a bitch and knack for having shitty connectivity during these hours. But again, I continued investigating. CabalSEA's main site took me 46 seconds to load (usual time is about 12), so the motive shift over to ShitSoft again.

Who's the culprit in giving me this bloody service? iZZi? ShitSoft?

I sense that is both of them, so fuck them both.

This is a collection of commonly used abbreviation in CabalSEA to guide new or existing players to know better of what the other Cabalist are saying:

Accessories

Abbr	Full Name of Items
AoP	Amulet of Pain
BoF	Bracelet of Fighter
BoS	Bracelet of Sage
EoF	Epaulet of Fighter
EoG	Epaulet of Guardian
EoS	Epaulet of Sage
EoP	Epaulet of Proof

Classes

Abbr	Full Class Name
BL	Blader
FA	Force Archer
FB	Force Blader
FS	Force Shielder
WA	Warrior
WI	Wizard

Locations/Places

Abbr	Full Location Name
B2F	Undead Tower B2F
BI	Bloody Ice
DS	Desert Scream
EoD	Undead Tower B1F
FR	Fort Ruina
FR	Forgotten Ruin
GD	Green Despair
LiD	Lake in Dusk
LS	Lakeside
MF	Mutant Forest
PL	Port Lux
UG	Undead Ground
VC	Volcanic Citadel

Items

Abbr	Full Name of Items
EoD	Epaulet of the Dead
RS	Muster Card: Ruina Station
SOD	Seal of Darkness

Force/Upgrade Cores

Abbr	Full Name of Items
CEH	Core Enhancer (High)
EUCH	Enhanced Upgrade Core (High)
FCH	Force Core (High
FCL	Force Core (Low)
FCM	Force Core (Medium)
UCH	Upgrade Core (High)
UCL	Upgrade Core (Low)
UCM	Upgrade Core (Medium)
SEH	Slot Extender (High)
SEL	Slot Extender (Low)
SEM	Slot Extender (Medium)

Equipments

Abbr	Full Name of Items
SS	Shadowsteel
BS	Bluestin
T or Tit	Titanium
ST or STT	Shadow Titanium
Osm	Osmium
RedOsm	Red Osmium
TG	Terragrace
SG	Shineguard

Weaponry

Abbr	Full Name of Items
GS	Great Sword
DK	Daikatana

Miscellaneous

Abbr	Full Name of Items
DB	Deathblow

Will be updating this once I see more abbreviations, in due time, happy Cabal-ing =)

Just awhile back, I had a fucking big argument with my mom. My throat is sore, my head gathered every ounce of anger I had and my thoughts are jumbled.

It is just amazing how some people would just blind themselves with their truths and still hold on to it as if it was real. Despicable.

I woke up at about 8 a.m. today and as usual will stay in my room, surfing sites or whatever to pass the time till it was about 10 a.m. so I can go down and watch TV and have the whole house to myself. Today was different, however. At 10 a.m., I could still hear sounds from the outside. It's a Friday. That can only mean she is around, and she has her usual 1 day a week break from work.

So I waited till 11 a.m. and decided to head downstairs and have my breakfast. Nothing to eat, that was alright, I just wait for dad whom usually buys back boxed lunch. I fill up my bottle with water, drank some of it and walked back up the stairs.

As I got up, a short stumpy figure stood before me and I was shocked. Knowing I have nothing to say to her I just walked off. Before I got into my room, she stopped me with a sentence which not only caught my attention, it caught onto my anger nerves as well.

"Didn't sleep the whole night some more har"

What the fuck? What has me not sleeping the whole night got to do with your pathetic worrisome life? I usually just don't care if that was true, seeing I am in the fault for being accused for something I really did, but this time, no.

I slept at approximately 11.30 p.m. yesterday and I was so tired could not even think of when I would wake up the next morning. Why so early you ask? CabalSEA was down so yeah, no reason to stay awake longer at that time.

The worst thing about her accusing me of not sleeping is that she supposedly have 'proof' of me awake the whole night with her lame excuse that she open my other toilet door, conjoined from the room next to me and caught eye of me sitting on my chair tapping on my keyboards, facing the computer monitor. What a bunch of shit she can pull to try to make me feel guilty over something I did not do.

See, I now know how irritating telling lies to someone else that I have come into terms that I should stop doing so, but being lied to back because I lied before in my childhood? Nice payback bitch, I wish your whole life was a lie, cause it's pathetic enough to be a hobo's.

I just don't like being accused of something I did not do, and frantically, she backs herself up with empty proofs, moreover, that ticks me off all the more.

Screw you bitch and sis, if you are reading this, do not try to make me patch up with that old douche bag.

Yeah, been very caught up with stuff lately, so here's my not too long rant on iZZi again.

Before that, here is something interesting. TM (formerly known as Telekom Malaysia) is charging me bills on something I never used. RM200+ on tabs of services which I did not subscribe to. I was connection-less for about 2 to 3 months and they charge me for being disconnected? What a load of bullshit. TM, fuck off.

I was gaming with Grif, Falcy and the rest of my BSian friends when WTFBBQ I got disconnected from the game, seconds after I respawned from death.

Okay, so disconnection is regarded as normal, but for 1 month now I disconnected from random DotA games? This is simply ridiculous.

SPK Damansara area is regarded as a 'rich man's' area and services should be optimum. But what the hell, when I plug in my router, no connection was received. When I used the normal for 1 usage only modem, it gives me a crap connection.

iZZi, go fuck elsewhere, your services are lame and you are listed as one of the lousiest ISP in Malaysia.

If I ever do commit suicide (which has plagued my mind countless of times), these are the possible reasons as to why I do so:

One
Our country is full of idiots who run politics. I'm not afraid to say this, but Malays are not meant to run the country. They have no sense of politics. They care for no one but themselves. Progress has gone downstream after Abdullah Badawi has taken over. Crime rate goes up.

Bottom line is, it is unfair for them to reap all these benefits for themselves. I shall watch this country fall as time goes by, or die from being swallowed into the sea of poverty and despair.

Two
Our country's Telekom, TM is the sole provider of a wired connection to the internet. No one comes close because they are the sole proprietor of wired/land connections. Seeing they have the upper hand, they care not for their customers (although no matter how much 'concerns' they have for us, they are just pulling your legs).

Who controls TM? Why of course, some Malay dude.

Three
Due to not being able to depend on their services, I decided to use an alternative. Currently using iZZi (I wish I had a better choice), and yes, it is also FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REASON (FUBAR in short). Once a week, the line is either crapped or down. Way to go, you suck big time.

Ironically, this company is under the chinese, but yes, it still sucks. So-called-broadband, it's as fast as Singapore's Dial Up speed.

Four
The countless ah bengs in this world retires me to the thought of even trying to provide them with optimum service. I'm a chinese myself, but I despise how these uneducated vermins act, heck, they remind me a lot like malays, those stubborn, care-free and selfish malays.

Five
My mom. She's being darn overprotective of me. She's still having the old-fashion thinking that being a son, I have to uphold a lot of crap and always 'protecting' me from harm. What's the point of living when I don't get exposure?

Now that's FUBAR.

With that all said and done, I swear I could just die, if only it didn't hurt, I would've done so already.