I will suffer from a mental breakdown soon.

It sounds over dramatic just by saying it, but it is how I feel, right now.

My dad has been confirmed by my sis that he has only a few months to live and that the cancer is real, from the tone of her SMS the other day, it totally make me feel that the inevitable has come to light.

I had been home during the last weekend, keeping the house in shape by doing minor house chores and making sure the safety of the house and everything in it. I am trying my best to make sure everything goes according to order, and that it is going on like it should be like any other day.

I just hate it when things goes wrong and not according to plan. It just turns my world upside down, inside out. I am not built to face all the sudden change ... I just wish I am strong enough to see a fostered path and decision in what I do.

Dad, I wish for you to recover from this illness, as many cancer patients have succeeded in prolonging their life farther than they were supposedly deduced by the so-called doctors.

Mum, I wish you wold learn to let go and worry less about me, and now I have to be responsible for a lot of things in life, just please, learn to let go ...

Sis, I wish the GP Faizal introduced us to sees a possible light to our dark times, and that dad will be much better.

I cannot bare so much, not right now. I feel so thwarted, my mind can't think straight and the uneasiness I feel inside just makes it harder for me to be at ease. I still need all of you, and I need all of you to pull together. Please ...